Today was one of those days where it seemed like the world constantly throws messages at me. I'm a touch emotionally heavy, taking into account I yet again changed location a week ago after ±3 months in Seoul, with a stint in Scotland in between and still settling and getting into my new routine.
This morning to clear some thoughts I decided grab a coffee and walk through the nearby mall. I switched on Apple Music and left their algorithm do the thinking for me and I'll listen to whatever songs they throw at me.
Whilst entering a Norman Harvey store to browse electronics and trying to convince myself not to splash out on anything, DJ Universe ft Apple Music suddenly threw Born Free By Kid Rock at me. First time hearing the song, something 92 million did before me on YouTube.
Damn did those lyrics hit like a truck. The sense of needing to find my own way while feeling weighed down by life resonated all to0 well.
Suffice to say I didn't buy anything, but it was my first time seeing a Starlink Kit in real life which was pretty cool!
Suddenly I realised, damn if this worked in South Africa, I could probably move to Rusermi - a game lodge owned by family friends of ours, in the middle of almost nowhere, where internet access are severely limited. But it's brilliant - wild animals like hyenas come into the lodge at night and lions, leopards, elephants are frequent visitors too.
Rusermi, 2008
Whilst thinking of this nostalgia the universe pulled yet another one on me. As I wandered into a Quicksilver store, surrounded by what appeared seemingly vintage looking, tshirts with the old Quicksilver logo printed on them.
As a kid who grew up by the beach with surfing, constantly exposed to brands like Quicksilver, Billabong and Ripcurl, this does trigger a deep form of nostalgia and the fact that Nickelback's Photograph was playing over the speakers of the shop - lump in my throat!!! The nostalgia, the memories and the weight of everything just hit me all at once as I'm standing in a store filled with beach vibes in the middle of Kuala Lumpur.
Eventually, I pulled myself together, picked up a protein smoothie, headed home and went to chill by the pool for a bit.
But as if all that wasn't the universe taking the piss out of me, tonight as I got home from dinner, went into the bathroom to wash my hands, I noticed, a little beetle on my shirt - it hitchhiked from who knows where. I gently let it crawl on my hand and stared at it for a while observing its bravery, wondering what metaphor the universe sent me this time.
It's funny. I think lately I've been feeling a bit like that beetle, holding on to life, perhaps feeling out of place at times, trying to find a safe spot to land. It made me think about resilience since, as far as I know, that's part of what beetles symbolise. Maybe that's a sign. Even when things feel like a chaotic mess, there's purpose and strength in just holding on.
The funny thing Jiwon and I enjoy listening to The Beetles at times, particularly Hey Jude is recurring on our playlist.
Between The Beetles and a beetle, I guess there's something really meaningful with the words, "Take a sad song and make it better", because that's what resilience really is, isn't it? Take the tough heavy days and turn them into something meaningful, learn from them.
Just like the beetle - who had no idea his journey clinging on will take him up a 30 storey building, life takes us places we often never imagined - places and situations that can feel isolating and overwhelming. But the beetle held on, resilient as can be, and in the end, I freed him into the garden below. Maybe he found himself safe with friends and family or perhaps he's off on a new adventure, either way, he's not giving up!